I made another muxtape. It makes me miss being able to make a real mix tape. I remember getting really into them in high school. My friend James would make me one every time he can to see me. My car was filled with them and we would just drive around suburbia switching from one tape to the next. I remember making him a tape and spending hours picking out the perfect songs. I wanted to tell him that I liked him so badly, but it has just never been something I am good at. I remember putting a Rancid song on there. And "Punk Rock Love" by the Casualties. And some Saves the Day. He told me he always loved my mix tapes, and I think it has always been one of those things that I'm at good at. It has also been my way of telling boys I like them for a very long time.
I ended up telling James I liked him, and he said he couldn't, that he didn't want to ruin the friendship. But, two or three years later, he said he wanted to try something, but it was much too late. I think I saw that he is married now. I think about him a lot, but I doubt a friendship could even work.
I also made a mix for a guy I liked that worked at a coffee shop I went to a lot. I put at Camera Obscura song on there and a really sexy Mirah song, probably "Engine Heart" or "Gone Sugaring," but I don't really remember what else. I wonder if he ever got the hint.
I think it would be interesting to make a zine about mixtapes people have made for other people, then have a tape with a song from each person's mixtape. But I'm sure someone has already made that or something.