"Can I borrow that?"
She sort of bends and points across the room.
He looks over towards his shelf and all of his things, his keys, a few books, pencils, and coins.
"The thing there. The flutey-thing. Just hand it to me, okay?"
He hands over the small recorder. "It's a recorder, Ellen."
She mumbles and starts to play "Hot Cross Buns."
Ben sits on the floor of his room and thumbs through some old papers and rips up a bill he already paid online. He looks at Ellen and she continues to play the same notes, only holding some longer than she is supposed to.
She says, "It is for dramatic effect."
"Good job. It sounds really nice when you play it that way. You should write an opera, but all the songs are 'Hot Cross Buns'."
"Yeah, I probably should."
"I don't see why you wouldn't."
She continues to play while Ben just stares at her ankles. He thinks of the time his mother made pancakes, and one fell on the floor, and his dog ate the entire pancake. It made him really happy because the dog wouldn't have gotten the pancake otherwise. But, now, looking back, he figured the moment was kind of sad. The fact that the only reason the dog was allowed one of his Mother's banana pancakes was because it fell to the floor, and wouldn't have been good enough for anyone else anyway.
I have been feeling annoyed with poetry and have hardly read any this summer. I tried reading a Keith Waldrop book I bought and felt really annoyed by the pictures next to it, and the way he chose to break up his poem on the page. I re-read a Mary Ruefle poem I still like a lot, and one I didn't. I also read some stuff from and old "No" I have around. There is still one poem (the really long one) I want to work on but I feel like it has been too long, or something. I need an anger I have a hard time finding access to. I've been finding a lot more inspiration in stories, movies, and life, because life is similar to these things, or these things are similar to life. I have things I need to be responsible about tomorrow, like student loan stuff and figuring out some legal crap. I want life to be like it is in "Funny Ha Ha" and just be a temp and feel okay with being confused. I really liked the part where she "milks" the creamer. There is an interview from the film festival about "Baghead", and I haven't watched it yet, because I watched one about "Funny Ha Ha" instead. I wonder about the way people influence us, too. I think a lot of people think alike. I got a free slide projector and I want to use it for stories and poems. I feel really happy about it. If you have old slides, please tell me.