hold on, holden

I went the the Museum of Natural History today, but couldn't find the area Holden walks through with the kids. I asked where the Egyptians were, and no one seemed to know. We were told to check out the Mammoth mummy on the fourth floor. Maybe Holden was looking at the mummified poultry. I also saw the squid and the whale, from the movie. I felt intimidated, and I think the little kid next to me did as well. He made odd sounds, an almost creaking frog-like noise. At least that is how I remember it now. I was more scared of the wolves. I used to have a lot of dreams about wolves and there is one I still remember very well. I was out in the country at night and there were wolves out, and my dad had to save me. He was always saving me from wolves. They were everywhere. In the trees and on the ground. The diorama gave me the same feeling I used to get waking up from those dreams. My legs felt numb and warm, as if I were walking after lying still for a very long time.

I bought this today. It is extremely well written. I love Mary Ruefle and Lydia Davis a lot right now. I feel inspired after reading these books, which I haven't felt for awhile. I was worried about writing. I was worried about poetry, mostly. I also watched Fanny and Alexander. It made sense to me and I regret my decision not to go see it when it was at the IFC. I might try to write a review about it soon. I just feel like I should. I feel like it is one of those films you watch, and you love, but a few months pass, and you don't really remember why. It reminded me of Henry James' Turn of the Screw, but less Oedipal. Maybe I should write about that.